I have a happy family of mine which is kind of half joint
family because one of my son lives in another part of the state as he is
working there and living there with family. And the younger one lives with me
here in our 1000 sq. ft. house along with the family. Yes it was important to mention
the size of the house in which I live, because it is one of the things amongst
others for which I am proud of. I come from not a very financially privileged
family .My father played a small part of Subedar in the Burma war while being
in the British Army. He seldom use to come home may be once every 3 or 4 years.
And we use to sit around and hear the stories of war which he use to share with
everyone he used to meet in village while he stayed with us. I don’t remember
having any father figure in my life for first 14 years in my life all I had in
name of father was a person dressed in loose and tattered suits doing all the
household chores, milking cows and selling milk to the neighbours, was my
mother which I used to call BIBI (a respectful word used for women which I
learnt in my Arabic class). I was taught in government schools where I felt in
love with the calligraphically attractive Urdu and Persian in the very
formative years for this love I sacrificed a lot on the personal front let go
off my needs to acquire more of the former. Later this love with words would
become my trade, but that part comes later before that I complete my school
which in those days meant to clear standard 10th exams. After which
one either has to go to city or Lahore if by chance you are lucky enough to get
admission in the Lahore College of Arts. But I was not prepared yet to do that
as I told you earlier about my father’s participation in the family affairs was
near to negligible, I wouldn’t completely give all the credit to my father
there were other contributors to this delay which I forgot to tell that I also
had 3 younger siblings in my house out whom one was girl, the youngest one. And
on top of all the money orders from Burma will start thinning and becoming
erratic. The reason of which I would come to know later when Bapu returned
after getting discharged from the Royal service that he had started taking
opium for his spinal pains form the time when he got a bullet wound in his
lower spinal region while being on front. But one thing I notice years later
while giving him a back massage with a special oil from Hakim’s that he never
had any wound on his back ,his back was as smooth as a newly mud plastered
pot. Which started as an excuse for
medicine later on continued till he died in his bed at night which was around
55 years after I called him Bapu (father or dad). I still think that there were
some unsaid things between me and Bapu I used to see despair and disappointment
in his eyes when he used to see me working with my mother for earning money.
And he used to be there on the bed lying on his back thinking of something I
don’t know what? May be he thinks what I should do with my life what I should
do with my children’s life to make it better or may be these are thoughts of
head my head only which were resonating in my mind to make my family’s life
better. A year later everything would come clear when my father called and
asked me that would like to run a business with me? I thought for a while I was
in dilemma whether he is giving me a business idea so that I would work on it
or he is trying to seek my approval, the power of giving my approval would must
have attributed to my current role in the family. But whatever the thoughts at
that time were doesn't matter because saying yes to that was only option I had
got at that time. So later on till the following year I was proud of first
thing that was me and my dad’s thriving business of small retail general store
which was the only one in the entire area.The same year my father called me
once again asked me by taking my name, what do you want to become in your life
son?
To which I didn't replied at first but the patience of this
man was like a sheep…….so after a long pause there was no option I had to
speak…..
I wanted to pursue studies further by going out of the
village to some city or to Lahore. I wanted to become a writer and write about
things.
So why don’t you?
Because Bapu we have got a business to handle house to take care
off, there are 3 other who need much more than I.
You don’t worry son now I am here I will take of all this
you go and fulfill your dreams.
I was afraid to look up on his face, I didn’t knew what his
expression of responsibility would look like.
So I didn’t looked up sat there for a while silently and
stared the ant on the mud floor trying to infer where that ant was going and
why it is moving so fast what’s it trying to find?
Later on with this discussion many days passed I have lost
the time frame of that time please forgive me of my matureness. But the day came soon when I applied for the
Lahore College of Arts and got admission due to my credentials. Later on 6
years will pass until return home after finishing Master of Arts in Persian and
Urdu language. After 4 years of returning home I started feeling discontentment
form my teaching life, I felt my dreams are bigger, my stories were longer, and
my words were refined for the government school students. I needed to breath
for a while I wanted to explore for a while so I planned to go to city to hunt
for a better job in a newly opened university. But there was condition form Bibi
that I will only let you go if you marry a girl who according to her keep me
accompanied and would take care of me in the big life of city. So as the custom
demanded I couldn’t say no to elders. So I was wedded, on 20 Jan of 1948 to a
much younger girl who I knew from Bibi was named Satoo. I didn’t even had a
look of her face before getting married everything was fixed by Satoo’s elder
brother and Bibi’s elder brother. I was sitting in my wedding clueless, but in
those days we used not to have so many options of interaction with opposite sex
or a luxury of Court ship period. So I and Satoo came to the City where we
stayed at Gurudwara’s inn for two days. During which I had to walk to the
university campus to inquire about my application of candidature. On third day
I finally got my letter of recruitment which was not much of a surprise because
other people for the post of Lecturer were not aptly qualified for the post,
whereas I was being considered as an overqualified candidate for the job……
My family has multiplied like amoeba from the time we have
shifted to city, we have shown year on year growth of 100%. In three years I
had three kids. And they growing at a rapid rate away from the village’s life
of hard work here they were in city enjoying what I didn’t the prime of life:
youth. I didn’t looked back for few years though tried keeping contact to
parents via letters and for special times in last three years I used Telegrams
which they told me that they flaunted in the village I think they were more
happy receiving the telegram than the subject matter of it. I used to tell them
frequently to come and stay here in city with me and Satoo but every time I
received a reply “not now”. Later on after around 10 years I asked Bibi and
Bapu to come again and they agreed too. It was big change in our life we
thought so but we didn’t knew why the sudden change of mind which on their
arrival I got to know. My mother was suffering from a rare neural problem which
at that time I didn't knew what is called? But 8 years from then I would found
out from a doctor at the newly opened dispensary at campus that the problem is
called Parkinson’s syndrome but I didn’t felt regret of losing my mother to
some unknown disease because he also told me that this syndrome is irreversible.
University quarters were small and large enough to house three adults, now
where 4 adults and three children were getting older in an exponential manner.
Soon after parents came to the city I started looking for a bigger place to
stay after a month or so we shifted to a rented accommodation which was little
away from campus I had to travel by local bus to reach campus but new place was
much more airy and had enough room all 7 of us. Few years would now pass I
don’t know exactly how much but a significant period of time when I got a loan
sanctioned Rs. 8,000 from university to acquire land and build house on 1000
sq. ft. area. By that time my eldest son would be studying Masters of Arts and
younger would be completing his graduation in regional college and my youngest
kid, would have been married to the business man of another city much bigger
than ours.
My family lived a happy life in our new house which took
around three and a half years to complete, by that time my elder son would be
married and shifted to another part of the state as he will be working there
and living with his family till he retires from the present job. In the
meantime the year is 1970 when my younger son married off to the love of his
life. I and Satoo were a little sceptical of the idea of love marriage at first
but then one of my friend while discussing my dilemma brought my degrees and
prestigious job in between my decision so I had to take less taken road of
those times. Within 6 years of both my son’s marriage we had a typical thriving
Indian family with two children each and their fathers holding good paying jobs
which ensured the best life for them. My third source of proud my well settled
sons.
Soon after my retirement I started feeling aged and wrinkly.
Now when I see myself in mirror I touch my sin near to the eyes there I could
see pockets of fat and wrinkles……….I think I am turning Budha now and soon
younger people would start calling me by all those different names which were
meant for the frail old people. I tried to delay those days by working
endlessly in my personal library on writing novels, stories, and poems. I also
used to attend some conferences on linguistics, which helped me to be in touch
of younger people.
As I told earlier about my third proud, they are my proud because
of the care and reverence they give to me and Satoo. They are worried of any
minor health issue or some minor fever which we knew is not going to turn into
pneumonia or typhoid. I have everything one would ask for in his life.
Living in a country like India it’s surprising that people
of relatively younger ages know so less about matured people. There is
stereotype that all elderly people have a hearing problem, they have problem in
communication as they think we can’t put what al we feel in a line or expressible
sentence even if one would have spent an entire lifetime putting feelings,
characters and rhymes in formations. You
have to spell out your last held position at doctor’s office if you have gone
for general check-up because he is extremely polite or putting it this way more
polite than he would be to his own father just because you are treated as a
patient even if you are just a matured person. I don’t know what all I would be
learning form my years of maturity, may be this age will be able to give
another source of proud or my days of pride will come to an end at a count of
three?
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