Lilah's Virtual Graffiti.

"Eh Lilah, eh....eh Lilah" someone on the bar counter said in loud voice, which was near to a scream. Bright lights of yellow, blue and red color were bouncing off and on the surfaces. People were standing on the bar counter Lilah herself couldn't see clearly who was calling out her name. Suddenly a hand from the crowd grabs her wrist tightly and yanked her towards a bald person; he pulled her towards his mouth. Lilah's expression dramatically changed from a smile to disgust, she could smell heavy stench of Country made liquor on him, and the camera was placed in such a way that I could observe each and every movement and expression of Lilah. She tried to free herself from the bald eagle's hold but her bony stature didn't gave her strength to make herself free from the bald man.

Seeing herself helpless she asked the guy "What do ya want?" to which he didn’t replied at once, he waited for few seconds and kept her leaned on the bar counter suddenly he pulled her closer and kissed on her lips, she again gave a defeated effort to free herself and tried to yank his hand away but all seemed to be futile now. In all this commotion, bottle of Country was knocked off from the counter. Every movement between the two of them stopped for a minuscule second and he let her go off the grip. She retracted back to a safe distance and tried to gauge what will happen now? In the meantime the guy picked up a salt cellar from the counter and threw towards, Lilah but his condition didn't allowed him to be precise like an eagle, the bottle flew in the mirrors behind the counter and there was loud tinkering of glass slabs on which once liquor bottles were resting. Everything went silent the music stopped but...the lights continued to bounce off the surfaces but they were now more murkier and obscure on the counter. I was not able to see the guy for few seconds there were many people crowding in front of the counter and all the commotion made me rise up from my chair and i tried to see by getting close to my screen but nothing was clear. I activated a different camera which I had on the roof of counter which gave me the view of the bottle rack which was directly behind the place where Lilah was standing and where all the commotion was happening. I checked my camera what all I could see was bald man, being dragged to the back door and was shouting Lilah, Lilah.....How much do you charge??? Just for once Lilah.....Lilah....don't let them take me away...!! the back door opened and closed with the silent thud and in an instant bouncers were back to their place near the dark corners of the bar and stood with their back against the red walls of the bar.....the music started again and lazily the lights started bouncing again from the pale red and yellow walls of the esoteric darkness mixed with smoke. Again people lazily started to move to the tunes of Bollywood songs on strong and shrill sounds of music. Everything resumed to normal as if nothing has happened Lilah was standing there on the bar counter observing the psychedelic chaos, she usually used to work late night but that night was different there was someone to cover her shift today-Manoj, Manoj was there today to cover up for her. He used to live near the bar in the slums. He was doing double shift today for Lilah and it was not for the first time he had been doing a favor to her.

The camera is focused on the bar counter, where Lilah was getting rid of her dirty apron and greeting Manoj with a smile, directly looking him in his eyes but they were bland of any kind of expressions, but Manoj had a glint of joy in his ones when he saw Lilah greeting her. Upon seeing him she immediately dropped her graze and made herself busy in untying her apron and again looked up again to see Manoj across the counter giving a familiar smile with his crooked lips. She saw him again and thanked him for the favor he was giving her. He budged in between and told her to stop thanking him and made her leave early by waving a goodbye, he started tying his apron and was still staring the door after she had gone out of it as if he's still picturing her somewhere near the door. He started working on the orders and still smiling at the last fresh memories of Lilah. In the meantime he was busy gathering the shards of glass from bar counter in short while he resumed his work and started taking the orders.

Back at chawl Lilah entered her room which is scarcely decorated in a modest fashion, she went in bathroom and splashed water on her face. Her eyes were red and hands were trembling, she tried to rub soap on her face and rubbed the lather vigorously, she tried her best to get rid of any left smear of smudged lipstick and residues of the past night. I picture her in the bed then, she had a single bed in the corner of the room and which was aligned to the wall she had her face towards the wall and staring in the void of darkness. She was curled up in a ball silently with the wall. The camera's focus goes off and the lights dim and darkness is all around. There are just low muffling glutted sounds of the Lilah from corner of the room. she was thinking about the last the similar incidents of firsts of the first times she had a thrashing from her father at the age of 18 for coming home late from school and for the first time she came to "The City of Dreams" and she had to sleep on railway platform when her uncle didn't picked her up from the station, while he was drenched in the salt water lying there on the beach and brain drenched in brownish liquid of eternity, her first day on work when she saw girls being objectified on the dance floors of the bar. Everything was still fresh in her mind as if it have had happened in the recent past it’s been a year now that she was in this city but every day was still anew to her. With every past day, her dilemma grew where, She still didn't knew whether to be intrigued or reject the thought of hers to be present there. She turned in her bed and started staring in to void of darkness. She ruffled her pillow and made her fluffy and tried lay her head on it and gave another futile effort to sleep but soon after these bouts with sleep she gave in tried to put a flank with the Avil pills. She took the pills from the drawer of the dressing table and  pulled out 4 tablets, popped in her mouth and swallowed them through her dry throat but she was unable to that and immediately the gag reflex kicked in and they out there again on her tongue making a sour gooey paste she immediately ran to the kitchen and drank water directly from the tap. She kept her head on the slab and tried to rest a bit, her heart beat normalized and she started to relax. Soon things turned dingy and memories turned into soggy images. At last things ended for that night there and then with those four pills on the kitchen floor of chawl.

Next day camera turns on again detecting some movement in the kitchen, she wakes up with a head ache in the wee hours of noon and tries to think what all happened yester night the memories were hazy and confusing but she came to senses and slowly memories starts receding like released water from a floodgate. The first person came to her mind in these scrambled chain of thoughts was the guy in a blue Larsen and Tubro uniform shirt who was one of the regulars of Lilah's customers. Something was odd, this guy, he was one like regular customers who tried to hit on Lilah once or twice or at least tried to touch her in one way or other but, this guy never really did anything with her. He hardly ever talked to her other than giving order for drinks and a smile to greet her and intermittent thank you's for his orders he was nice to her always and never took any step make her uncomfortable. She used to sit with this guy whenever he requested her to share drinks with her and all those time when he used to sit with her there was silence between them. They used to just sit there and see the colorful lights dancing on the tattered walls of the bar. Except the times when he had bout of fights with his wife when he used to tell Lilah each and everything what happened and why she lashed up on him. Lilah was like a shadow of him to who, he could talk everything without having a fear of getting judged. She also was mesmerized by the words he used to choose to tell her things which were too refined for her and sounded as if someone is reading poetry to her. She sits there silently and listens to him and gave responses at intermittent intervals. There was sorrow in his eyes, unfulfilled desire of acceptability was kindling somewhere in him which made his eyes go wander at people in the bar as if he's trying to find some object of satisfaction. The only times he had smile on his face and sounded soulful was when he talked about his kids who were still young, and studying in school. He used to tell her proudly there latest achievements at school and told her about how they used to play together when they were younger but soon the his thoughts turn gloomy and he stops speaking about kids she used to wonder why?But she never dared to ask him, she thought it was better leave him there on the good thoughts to make him drink less, so she could spend some more minutes with him. She too had a dream someday that she would have some of her own but now in her midlife crisis she was still holding time and her dreams in different hands and they both were evaporating like a spirit and leaving things cold on the surface. With this guy’s narrations she was living an illusory life of her own. It was not that she had fallen for this guy it was just the aspiration of hers to acquire the life which he had. 

For Lilah, it was hard to think of that she will be having any dreams after what had happened to her a year back. The gusts of sand were settling down now each day things were getting clearer, goals were becoming decipherable. In midst of all the turmoil Manoj was lost somewhere in the folds of imaginative corners of gloomy thoughts, he was just an ordinary being existing in her world sustaining on the discretion of “The Bar” away from the transient lights behind the counter.